Harry Potter and the...

Most of you know my husband, and many of you think of him as the mild mannered, soft spoken man he appears to be in public. This is not so. Not at all. When Richard comes home from work, our dull, rather mundane routine sparkles with new witticisms, which he will repeat until he gets a genuine laugh.

So to celebrate the release of the new Harry Potter movie, here's some of our favorites: (these are best read quickly out loud, between fits of giggles. Maybe you should drink some milk, so it can spew out your nose..)

Harry Potter and the Horse Header's Phone (Sorcerer's Stone)
Harry Potter and the Stranger at Recess (Chamber of Secrets)
Harry Potter and the Whsitlin' Turd of Pakistan (Prisoner of Askaban)
Harry Potter and the Goblins on Fire (Goblet of Fire)
Harry Potter and the Odor of the Beatnik (Order of the Phoenix)
Harry Potter and the Bloody Half of a Prince (Half-Blooded Prince)
Harry Potter and the Lefty Waldos (Deathly Hallows)

I actually habitually refer to book four as the Goblins on Fire, some of these jokes have been going on for so long.

Has it really been three weeks?!

Richard has rewritten the lyrics to Shattered Dreams by Johnny Hates Jazz to describe the color and consistency of Josh's poo and so has taken to wandering through the house humming:
You're givin' me (givin' me)
nothing but cottage cheese (cottage cheese)
mixed all up with broccoli (broccoli)
served up in your paaaaaaaants...